de_ujan : in person

Waktu dulu masih belajar sejarah, salah satu hal yang masih gw inget adalah tentang Sumpah Pemuda. 28 Oktober 1928, dihadirin sama anak2 muda se-Indonesia, dari perkumpulan daerah masing2 (Jong Java, Jong Ambon, Jong Sumatranen Bond, dll dst dkk) dalam rangka melawan penjajahan Belanda. Kejadian ini merupakan salah satu titik balik perjuangan Bangsa Indonesia, karena sebelumnya perjuangan kemerdekaan merupakan perjuangan kelompok, alias masing2 daerah for themselves.

Isi dari Sumpah Pemuda ini cuma 3 doang, intinya pemuda Indonesia saat itu ngaku bahwa mereka bertumpah darah satu, Indonesia, berbangsa satu, Indonesia, dan berbahasa satu, bahasa Indonesia.

Waktu gw belajar soal Sumpah Pemuda, yang gw pikir : cuma menghasilkan 3 butir doing gitu loh, kok heboh banget sampe tiap taun pasti gw belajar ini di pelajaran sejarah? Lama-lama gw ngerti juga sih. Buat sekelompok anak muda dari wilayah yang beda2, bahkan ada yang beda pulau jg, ini merupakan pencapaian yang luar biasa, yang gak bisa dicapai sama orang2 tua yang udah lebih dulu mengusahakan kemerdekaan dan gagal. Secara teoritis, lebih banyak orang yang bergabung untuk satu tujuan yang sama, lebih gampang meraih tujuan tersebut. Memperbesar peluang keberhasilan, yang sebelumnya gak pernah sedrastis ini, adalah sebuah terobosan pada zaman itu. Wajar kalo kita semua (seharusnya) bangga sama pencapaian ini.

Tapi apa yang terjadi sama anak muda jaman sekarang? Dari berita2 yang gw liat di koran, TV, maupun internet, anak2 muda Indonesia identik dengan kekerasan, drugs, dan hal-hal lain yang cenderung negatif. Hal-hal yang gw sebut barusan, jujur aja bikin gw cukup malu untuk mengakui identitas gw sebagai anak muda, dari Indonesia pula.

Sumpah Pemuda merupakan suatu bukti sejarah, bahwa pada zaman dulu (duluuuuuuuuuuu banget) anak muda Indo gak gitu. Malah anak2 muda yang ngebuat terobosan2 positif untuk kebaikan bangsa ini. Apa yang bikin semua ini berubah? Gimana bisa jadi sedrastis ini?

Gw pun gak tau jawaban atas pertanyaan itu. Gimana anak2 muda yang dulunya ngebela nama Indonesia mati2an bisa berubah malah merusak nama Indonesia abis2an. Gimana pola pikir untuk mencapai Indonesia yang lebih baik bisa berubah jadi destruktif gini. Kemana ya, rasa nasionalisme generasi muda sekarang2 ini?

Of course, gw jg gak berani bilang bahwa gw merupakan contoh anak muda Indonesia ideal. Gw lebih pengen tinggal di luar negeri daripada di negeri sendiri, lebih cenderung make bahasa inggris maupun bahasa2 laennya dibanding bahasa indo. Dan jelas, seperti yang udah gw bilang, gw gak terlalu bangga ngaku jadi orang Indonesia. Belah mana idealnya coba?

Tapi waktu gw ngobrol dengan temen-temen gw tentang masalah ini, salah satunya bilang gini ke gw, “Makanya, elo kudu pulang. Bangsa ini butuh elo. Seberapa malunya pun elo akan identitas lo, lo pernah tinggal disini, lo pernah ‘menikmati’ jadi orang Indonesia. Elo bisa mulai perubahan itu, ngebuktiin bahwa anak muda Indonesia gak semuanya kayak yang elo bilang. Pulang lah ntar kalo studi lo udah kelar, ‘rumah’ lo butuh elo.”

Gw cukup kaget dengan apa yang dibilang temen gw itu, karena menurut gw, dia emang bener. Mahatma Gandhi pernah bilang sesuatu yang kurang lebih intinya gini : jadilah perubahan yang kamu inginkan. Artinya, kalo memang gw ingin stigma anak2 muda Indonesia berubah, gw harus mulai dari diri gw sendiri. Idealis emang, dan pasti gak bisa bim salabim trus semua berubah. Tapi gw yakin bukannya gak mungkin. When there’s a will, there’s a way.

Jadi, ada yang mau ikut gw memulai perubahan ini? Inget, makin banyak orang yang berjuang untuk tujuan yang sama, makin gede kemungkinan suksesnya!

few weeks earlier, in contemporary communication class  i was watching the Truman Show… it’s a movie by Jim Carrey about a ridiculously famous TV show, created by somebody called Christof about a real life of Truman Burbank, the chosen one between 5 unwanted baby. this TV show features the whole Truman life, right after he was born, when he took his first step, uttered his first word, and other real life stuff (and actually totally normal and no big deal) kind of activity 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.

his life was based on a script written by Christof, an egoistical and self-centered kind of guy who doesn’t care about his actors. he directs Truman whole life and easily create a situation to return Truman back to his course if he ever take the wrong turn. i’d say… it’s a sad life….. or not??

my lecturer, in the end of the movie, said something interesting. "… Truman became aware of the constructed reality he’s living at." a constructed reality. it is the term for the fact that our reality, or whatever we see as the reality, were built in the foundation of various elements… and it decides our action, reaction…. or generally, it decides our life (by my own crappy definition).

it will be easier to understood by examples, i suppose. it works like this…. most of us were taught that killing is a bad thing. hence, we will perceive killing as something negative. but what if something like what happened to Wesley Gibson from the Wanted movie happened to us as well? somebody told us that killing one may save 1000… doesn’t that justify the guilt of killing somebody?

Truman was made to be scared and unwilling to leave the perimeter of that TV show, Sea Haven. his father was ‘killed’ by Christof in the sea, scared him with the idea of travelling near the water. every banner in the travel agent shows the dangers of leaving with plane. his environment are created such, that it decides what Truman should do next.

and funnily, after giving a deep thought to it… the idea of constructed reality also exist at our lives. it gave direction to our reaction to certain environment and situation. if we look at it this way, our life are sooooo much more ridiculous than what we thought. cultures, religion, education, history, environment, media….. everything affect what we do. our education told us that 1+1 = 2. should the teacher taught us that 1+1 = 9, would we still say 2???? 9 could be the new 2 this way… Wesley was also taught by the Fraternity the same way. if nobody told him that the bullet goes straight, it wouldn’t be that impossible if the bullet curved like a paper airplane or such…. (even though most likely, the bullet will still goes straight even if i didn’t know it should go straight)

me and my kind but attention-diversing lecture was discussing this issue when i was supposed to do my essay. then, i forgot my essay and indulge myself in this mind blowingly interesting discussion. he said that Truman was running away from HIS constructed reality, or Sea-haven in this case. he longed to be free to have whatever he wants, far from what Christof plans.

doesn’t it seems… we’re like that too sometimes? we want to be free of everything… we might want to quit our daily activity, colleges or jobs, and start backpacking to travel around the world or just staying at home, leisuring ourself to the limit we became a couch potato… or probably quitting our big-salary job and stoop down into something far less profitable but suits our dream…. and if we ever did that, we’d say that we are free, we can decide whatever we want for ourself. but people around us who didn’t understand our idealism, would just laugh it out and said, "you’re crazy, dude!"

leaving our constructed reality sometimes mean that we are fighting against the common sense, and we’ll be most definitely have that crazy label on our forehead for doing so. it’s the price to pay for freedom, and probably not the only price we will have to pay to do so. even Truman paid his price : security. it was undeniable that living in Sea-haven, Truman was safe and sound. going to the outside world means nobody can make it right when he did something wrong. nevertheless, he still walked out from Sea-haven to find his true love somewhere in a so-called place named

Fiji

(she’s just on an apartment in that city, actually)

so, do we stay in the ‘constructed reality’ and became depressed and frustrated being dictated by the situation, or destroying the ‘constructed reality’ and paying the price that sometimes are much more pricy than just being called crazy? you decide.

*on a lighter note : this post is merely created as a revenge after finishing the stupid Ludmilla Nichols essay about movie analysing that made sleeping so much more harder for the past one week. we, from MIBT Jakarta, hate you for every single stupid essay that you designed us to do and the no way near common sense requirements, and also despise you for those marvelously stingy marking you gave us for all the blood and tears ridden effort we’ve given you!!!!! you better repent soon, ms Nichols… or else.

a few weeks ago, in case u didn’t notice, one of my facebook note was published in a local tabloid in Gading. when i was notified about this, i was utterly shocked. so someone ACTUALLY agreed with my blunt(often tactless) point of view and thinks that it was good enough to show it to everybody else in the area. i was so shocked that i drowned in tears (well, i am exaggerating…. practicing shock jocks here) but still, i am kinda proud about it.

anyway, the one who decided to publish my note says that it is one way to promote something called citizen journalism. and the next thursday, this was mentioned in my journalism lecture. such a striking coincidence. apparently the issue of citizen journalism has become something quite noticeable in the past few years.

before anything, so what is this citizen journalism (or CJ from now on) is all about? CJ is a term for ordinary people who are not a professional journalist that wrote about something and publish it to general audience. probably it will be easier to understand if i say the examples : blog and youtube.com.

there are pros and cons about CJ itself. there are advantages and disadvantages of it, meaning that it is not always good or bad. before we decide to agree or disagree with it, we should take a closer look at both point of views.

CJ is something that symbolised democratic society. before the democratic era, at the New Order regime, people are not allowed to criticize the government. should you remember the fate of those TV shows by Wimar Witoelar, back in the New Order era, u’ll know what i’m talking about. now, via blogs, we can feel a little bit more freedom in criticizing. whoever that doesn’t agree with us could always leave a comment=P

CJ also sheds a light on issues that are not deemed as important in the mass media. take an example about STAR Project. have you had any idea that this project is related closely with the biggest issue in our country, corruption? the media barely put it in the headlines, only show them in small and rather unnoticeable column. but some blogs are desperately explaining this project to those who wants to read about it. in a way, CJ plays the role of watchdogs better than mainstream mass media nowadays.

another positive thing about CJ is that it sometimes shows a different point of view that may have been overlooked by us. one thing that I learned during my lectures is that languages can be misleading, depends on what the users want to imply (or accidentally implies). and what we don’t realize is that most media are using this technique to manipulate the society and lead us into the perspective they wants us to see. This, most of the time, were full of lies and deception unless we were paying attention, which most of the time we don’t.

CJ snaps us out to the real thing sometimes, giving the cold hard bitter truth without any sugar-coating so we can have a look at the matter from another side, which is sometimes can be very important for us to be objective rather than judgemental. we as the citizen should be very attentive to what are the government doing with our taxes and our trusts.

as for the cons… well, the paragraphs above actually showed what’s not right with CJ. did I do it intentionally? erm… not really. I just realized that my writing’s not that good. but still as ignorant as ever…… soooooo whateverrrr!!!! blame the ALC 101’s essay and Ludmilla Nichols for it.

one that I would point out that CJ gave a personal opinion on matters, so we cannot really rely on the objectivity of the matters itself… well, I hate Ludmilla Nichols, as I already mentioned. but others, who had no idea about her, will be prejudiced by my hatred to her (I know, hate’s a strong word indeed). professional journalism will never allow personal opinion on news, at least not as blunt as me like this.

CJ also has very limited sources. we cannot forget the fact that we don’t have a press card that allows us a backstage peek at a concert… too bad. we can only report what we see, and it is rather hard to give an in-depth report about events unless we have special passes like those from professional journalism.

because of the limited sources and subjectivity, CJ is rather unreliable news sources to quote from. this kinda annoyed me whenever I gotta find sources for my essays, and I found a good line in a blog but cannot quote it unless I want my score reduced. ugh.

but i myself loves to blog and to read blogs (yes, it is both nouns and verb. weird isn’t it?) and i enjoy the idea of blogging, because it means that somebody is FINALLY bold enough to stand out in the crowd and have their say and show where they stand on a matter or two. why should we only follow the current(mass media)? why don’t we fight it once in a while?

so yeah, have your say, people! it’s 2008 and it’s no more the time to be scared because of what we thought… or so I thought. haha.

seminggu ini banyak banget kejadian yang sangat2 unexpected… nevertheless, yang bener2 mengguncang gw adalah apa yang terjadi kemaren, waktu pelayanan choir ke panti narkoba di puncak. gw sebenernya gak ikut choir sih, tapi karena satu dan lain hal akhirnya gw ikut….

tadinya yang diajak sama ka B itu si nyokap, the nu kidz on the club (or some sort like that) biar kata gak ikut nyanyi, tp diajak aja buat seru2an. eh terus malemnya bokap gak mau pergi, jadilah kita sekeluarga gak pergi. eh apa mau dikata, pagi2 si bokap berubah pikiran dan akhirnya kita cabut jg ke grj. emang dasar plinplan, sampe grj bokap bilang mending pulang aja…. ajebuset…

pas gw bilang ke ka G, dia suruh gw ikut supaya bisa bantu2in dia ntar pas di sananya. gw, yang tadinya mending pulang bikin tugas, akhirnya bawa laptop dan modem untuk ngerjain tugas sambil nunggu. amazing, gw rajin sekali nowadays.

gw naik mobil grandis item yang gede itu ber 4 sama ka G, ka B, n ka Adya (sepi yah??)… buset, udah (seperti biasa) paling kecil, paling goblok juga lagi…. i dont think i’ll be able to follow them talking. dan emang bener, kebanyakan sih gw cuma manggut2 dan bilang iya2 doang…. berusaha berpikir dan menyerap segala informasi yang terurai disana. kayak dengerin lectures aja…

anyway, masalah pertama adalah macet (well, if it’s to be considered as a hindrance, it is.) berhubung ini weekend, jadinya jalanan ke puncak macet banget. udah gitu karena ada yang telat2 gimana gitu, kita jadi jalannya jg kesiangan. pokoknya macet abis deh. tapi karena kita tetep hepi2 aja (at least di mobil kita… menurut kabar 3 mobil laen jg masih asik2 aja) it’s no big deal.

pas macet itu gw baru tau ternyata ka Adya ngefans banget sama SBY, sampe2 waktu gw sedikit mencela SBY ka Adya bilang "pintu keluar di sblh kanan." becanda sih… tapi dalem. pokoknya gw ga mau nyebut2 SBY lagi di dpn ka Adya!!!!!

anyway, masalah kedua adalah salah satu mobil di blkg kita bermasalah. jadi gara2 minyak koplingnya abis, the teeth don’t play (giginya gak main). akhirnya pas tanjakan mrk malah merosot2 gimana gt. whew… mulai serem. but who knows this events dragged down more troublesome and dangerous matters?

secara di mobil blkg cewe semua 5 org, akhirnya ka G memutuskan untuk turun karena mogoknya dibawah kita. emang dasar malang tak dapat ditolak, jalanannya one way jadi ka G naik ojeg ngelawan arus. and this was where the disaster begins.

kita nunggu di pom bensin cisarua, dan sekitar stenga jam abis ka G turun, ka Adya ditelpon sam aka G yg bilang bahwa dia tabrakan. ka Adya yang panik langsung memutuskan untuk turun ke tempat ka G…. tapi sebelumnya ke WC dulu for the nature call. ya elah, ilang deh suspensenya.

at this point, gw seharusnya ngambil inisiatif dan turun ke tempat ka G supaya jangan ka Adya yang lari2 sampe lecet2 kakinya…. tapi secara gw udah gak bisa mikir jelas lagi, akhirnya gw nemenin ka B di mobil sambil harap2 cemas.

waktu gw denger kabar ka G tabrakan, rasanya gw udah mo nangis di tempat. bayangan ka G terbaring di jalanan berdarah2 gak bisa ilang dari pikiran gw selama nunggu. gw takut banget doi sampe kenapa2….  tapi apa daya secara gw disitu sama ka B dan gw paling males nangis2 gak jelas, gw harus tetep keliatan tenang dan -malah- nenangin ka B, which is very hard to do waktu gw sendiri hampir breakdown.

setelah lama nunggu, akhirnya ka Adya balik lagi ke atas bersama tante Femy (empunya si mobil kacau), Connie, sama Novel. Heri sama Jentine nyusulin ka G ke klinik. gw bener2 udah pengen lari turun at this point, tapi gw sadar, gw gak bisa bantu apa2 juga…. paling nyusain dikit.

waktu akhirnya ka G, Jentine ama Heri naik, gw shock banget waktu liat ka G luka2 gitu…. tumitnya dijait 20 jaitan, and it was so devastating ngeliat doi mringis2 gitu. dia masih maksain tersenyum, but i know it was painful.

di jalan doi baru cerita, ternyata ojeg yg dia tumpangin tuh remnya blong, dan itu pas turunan di dpnnya ada motor. si sopir ojeg ngebanting stir ke kanan, eh malah ketabrak bus. ajebuset. ka G bilang dia udah ngeliat ban busnya di dpn mata, but thanks God dia sempet menggulingkan diri dan nyemplung ke selokan terdekat…. well, mending kotor drpd mati kan?

ada warga yang coba ngangkat dia, tapi dia malah bilang "eh2, saya gak mau diangkat kecuali sama 3 orang! saya berat!" untung warganya nurut. coba kalo org ini coba ngangkat dia dan shock oleh betapa beratnya ka G. kan doi bs2 jatoh lagi!

guess what, ka G dianterin ke klinik naik OJEK lagi. as if penderitaannya masih kurang…. oh well. pas mo naik bareng Heri n Jentine, mrk naik angkot. tapi di tengah jalan itu angkot mogok! bujubuset, asli… can things goes any worse??? gilanya, the answer is : yes, they most definitely can.

akhirnya di grandis kita jadi ber9. aslinya, grandis hari itu cm 5 seater karena di blkg ada alat2 banyak dan gak bisa duduk situ. tapi, stream yang 8 seater aja bisa masuk 12 orang, knp grandis ini engga???? dan kali ini lagi2 gw dipangku Heri… kasian dia, tiap kali kita jejel2an, tugasnya mangkuin gw mulu. kapan2 gantian deh gw mangku elo Her…

akhirnya kita sampe di panti narkobanya sekitar jam 2an. gw berusaha keras untuk maksa ka G supaya dia gak ngotot jalan sendirian, dan gw jg berusaha ngegantiin tugas2nya dia dalam set up laptop, LCD, dll. i never knew akhirnya gw bener2 bisa membuat diri gw sendiri useful… gw pikir gw bakal nganggur dan ngerjain tugas doang.

pelayanannya sendiri luar biasa. hati gw bergetar waktu mendengar mrk nyanyi -litterally-. i was touched. (just dont tell this to those ppl in choir) dan banyak banget yang minta didoain. fuh…. i sure thank God that it all doesnt goes to waste!

sepanjang pelayanan, gw duduk di sblh ka G yg lagi mengoperasikan multimedia di laptopnya. i can’t help staring at him and kept asking "masih sakit kak?" yang dia terus bilang gpp sambil ngacungin jempol. i realized i was worried sick -litterally- sama ka G. mungkin gara2 tiap sabtu kita pasti sharing karena gw selalu nebeng doi jg.

pulangnya, macet lagi. di 3 mobil itu kita semua turun dan beli ubi, pisang, dan temen2nya buat mengganjal rasa lapar. another funny thing, mobil Emil yg berenti di dpn kita udah kayak mobil goyang. gimana kagak, isinya Heri, Yosua, ama Connie yang kerjaannya cela2an mulu…. sampe tabok2an segala. kita yang diblkg udah kaya ntn layar tancep aja deh.

waktu akhirnya kita sampe di kantor polisi buat ngurusin mobilnya tante Femy, another tragedy strikes again. ceritanya semua cewe2 di dpn tuh pada turun dan nyebrang jalan ke pos polisinya… dan ka Adya malah keluar mobil tapi berdiri aja di samping mobil, sampe kita yg di mobil bingung dia ngapain…

akhirnya gw turunin kaca

gw : kak, ngapain sih diluar?
dia : gw lagi mikir, enaknya gw nyebrang gak ya?
gw : yah, i do suggest that sih, soalnya kan yg disitu cewe semua… mungkin nolong kalo ada cowonya.
dia : oh… gitu yah….

terus dia nyebrang. asliiiii, abis itu gw ngerasa bersalah abis for suggesting that.

waktu dia mo nyebrang balik ke arah mobil, ka Adya ketabrak motor. di depan mata gw. limping, dia langsung lanjut nyebrang, but amazingly, motor yg nabrak dia malah mental sedangkan si ka Adya masih bisa nyebrang jalan. gw langsung loncat keluar mobil dan nyamperin dia. a thought crossed my mind "wow, today is definitely not over yet."

gw panik. saat itu bener2 panik banget. gila, ketabrak motor! how could he be okay??? lebih gila lagi, ka Adya gak kenapa2. cuma lecet2 dan sedikit memar, laen2nya sih ga ada apa. wasn’t it the most amazing thing and traumatizing at the same moment, orang ketabrak motor tapi motornya yang mental! itu kalo bukan God’s protection, nothing else that could explain what happened!

pas balik ke mobil, ka G yang udah mulai ngelawak bilang, "ka Adya, mau digantiin???" dasar ngaco….

abis itu kita jalan lancar sampe jakarta…. dan waktu sampe greja lagi, gw ngebukain pintu buat ka G, should he need any help to walk. gw kaget banget waktu dia ngulurin tangannya ke pundak gw, minta di papah. bukan masalah dia berat sih. gak seberat itu lagian, sampe gw gak bisa menyangga dia. tp tadi dia udah keukeuh bisa jalan sendiri, paling mentok cm gw tuntun doang lah. dia malah keliling2 ngedoain orang. kok tiba2 jadi lemes gini??? apa gara2 ketemu sang istri, ka Lita?

anyway, mereka akhirnya pulang duluan sedangkan gw dan yang lain makan dulu di rendezvouz. dari pagi kita gak ada yang bener2 makan, jadi pas makan itu udah kayak idup lagi aja. ditraktir lagi. (halah, dasar maniak makan gratis…) tapi sebelumnya kita mampir ke century dulu buat beli crutch buat ka G. gw bertugas mengantarkan tongkat2 itu ke ka G abis makan, yang thankfully, bokap nyokap gak keberatan ikut nganter jg.

akhirnya kita ketemu di RS mitra, pas ka G lagi mo dironsen pundak sama tumitnya to see if there was any other damages. makin kaget pas gw liat ka G di UGD…. mukanya bener2 keliatan kesakitan. and i saw the full extent of his injury. pundaknya, yang daritadi dia bilang sakit, ada memar biru gitu. dari lutut sampe daerah betis lecet2 dan berdarah2. tumitnya, yg dari tadi siang gw liatin, seems worse than before.

gw nungguin di RS sampe jam 11…. i was supposed to be tired karena gw kurang tidur malemnya dan seharian ky gitu sih, i should be able to sleep while standing. tapi gak berasa tuh. akhirnya gw nungguin ka G pas di ronsen sampe hasil ronsennya udah keluar, and thank God dia gak kenapa2 selain luka2 yg udah ditanganin…

malemnya, sampe rumah, gw masuk kamar mandi, nyalain shower, duduk di lantai dan nangis. entah kenapa gw nangis… mungkin karena gw gak sanggup ngeliat org2 yg gw sayangin luka2 gitu….. terutama ka G. sangat2 traumatizing. sampe saat ini gw rasanya masih pengen nangis….

gw harap gw gak bakal liat ka G kesakitan ky gitu lagi…. dan moga2 gw gak bakal liat ka Adya ketabrak motor di dpn mata gw lagi.

ka Gamal, cepet sembuh ya……

i just watched an advertisement about the Independence Day…. it gave a general overview of indo… and it gave me a funny feeling inside. naaah, nowhere close a butterfly, but still, funny.

i remember once i had this talk with Joseph… he said that Melb is a laid back place. everybody lived in a slow pace… you may leave that place and return another 4 years and found out nothing has really changed actually… even if something does, usually nothing big or major. but in Gading… you left Gading for a week and a new restaurant’d popped up out of nowhere.

and that’s what i told people when they asked me why did i chose Melb for my next destination of living (okay, study. but you get the drift.) not just staying in Jakarta. the idea of laid back kind of lifestyle kinda suits my lazy personality.

of course, i had my other reasons… such as Melb is a healthier place to do my hobby - walking. they say walking in Jakarta makes your lung goes black… and i do think so too. i loved walking while listening to my iPod… just realized that walking calm myself down and gave me the chance to think…. about anything. thanks to Yosua for giving the positive idea of going on foot=P

i also loves the culture… call me westernized and all that, but i really like the freedom of speech! with that, there’s no such thing as kurang ajar…. as i already mentioned, i can criticized anything and be all cynical (yeaahhhhh, let all hell broke loose!!!!) without getting more labels than a little bit bitchy. i can handle bitchy better than no manners anyway.

in short, i am totally not a nationalists… but i do felt pity to my country. where the system’s all screwed up, corrupt ppl everywhere, moral bellow standard, lowest kind of mindset i’ve ever seen… and they consider themselves civilized. yeah rite. just too smart for their own good. and waaaaaay beyond repairable. only grace and miracle can save them anyway. and that is, if they want to be saved, which i doubt they dont.

the only thing that (i thought) made me a wee bit hesitant about leaving is my friends. it is no secret that i treasured my friends, and the thought of not seeing them for quite some time is actually bothering me. i recall Ony said "are you sure about leaving??? what about your friends here?" which made me… uneasy. but thank God for technology…. we do have messangers and fs also fb… i think things are going to be fine. well, at least i do hope it will.

and when i watched that commercial, i think i’m wrong. probably (well, just looking into possibilities) i am gonna miss the whole stuck in traffic jam, eating near the sewer (or on top of it…), polluted, modernized-wannabe place my hometown is. it is, afterall, where i grew up.

i remember Rangga said even though it’s raining stone here and it’s raining gold and money abroad, people still choose to live here, because the sense of hometown is irreplacable.

awww what’s with this all emotional stuff stirring on me??? i haven’t even left Indo for good yet!!!!

week 5. hari2 ini lagi2 gw dikejar deathline dengan sukses (i assure u, gw gak salah ngetik kok) kali ini dengan tema "discuss the power of language and is language diversity important to us" kurang lebih gitu lah. gw males liat unit outline lagi. in a sense, tugas kali ini gak sesusah tugasnya si Mick karena asli tugasnya Mick minggu lalu lebih stressing dan membuat putus asa secara komentarnya gak jauh dari "YOU HAVE TO ANSWER THE QUESTION!" sapa yang kagak mules-panas dingin-pusingtuingtuing dapet jawaban kayak gitu (yang kurang lebih artinya : mending lu bikin baru deh…) padahal due datenya less than 24 hours?

still, gw masih ngotot untuk berusaha menikmati kuliah gw. kuliah yang lebih mirip kayak diskusi sepanjang minggu daripada belajar. bikin tugas pun bisa lewat YM buat diskusi ama lecturernya… well, that’s far more better in a sense, right? paling ngga nothing to serious, a little bit laid back (kecuali deket2 deathline), kadang2 nonton film….

well, if i were to compare my previous stages of education, ini mah udah separo surga kali ye…. gw tidak bisa berhenti mendendam sama si damrin tukang ngutang yg gak pernah mau ngaku kalo dia salah, dan gak pernah give a damn on what the students think. lecturer2 gw (well, at least 2 out of 3) masih mau diajak diskusi soal pelajaran ato hal2 philosophic diluar pelajaran. disini kita di encourage untuk nanya sebanyak2nya dan lecturernya bakal jawab semampunya.

lah jaman2 gw di SMAK? gw kebanyakan nanya udah pasti tatapan tajam menghujam yang berkata "lo bawel banget bisa diem kagak sih?!". guru2 cenderung menghindari private session sama muridnya (mungkin ini salah satu alesan knp ruang guru off limits buat murid sekarang…) well am not saying semua guru gw ky gitu…. ada juga sih yg bae. tp mayoritas ya yang kayak gitu itu. nyebelin abis.

no wonder selama 12 taun sekolah i’ve never been so happy, or eager to come to school. environmentnya aja garing, buku2nya berat, pelajarannya gak menarik. heheheh, jadi inget kutipan lecture gw "ther are no dull subjects, there are only dull writers" or in this case, speakers.

ada lagi hal yang lucu selama gw belajar bersama bule. entah mengapa, mrk ngotot banget ngomong indo! padahal kitanya berusaha ngomong inggris, tapi merekanya malah jawab bhs indo… duh, jenakanya…. as in, saat mereka terbata2 ngomongnya bukan "what else" tapi "apa lagi ya???" ckckckckc… basic bule!

anyway, yang seru lagi adalah bule2 ini sangat debatable. asik akhirnya ketemu lawan yang seimbang!!! cihuy! walaupun tetep ribet ngomong bahasa inggris…. gw seneng ada yang bisa mendengar, menjawab dan mendebat pendapat2 gw dengan alesan yang logic minus emosi…. menyenangkan sekaliii!!!!

pokoknya i have a lot of fun even tho i still hate monday… hahahahaha… more than my school before this lah!

once, i was talking to my friend on the matter of unpunctuality. we were annoyed about people who doesnt came on time for music practice. it was absolutely annoying for us who came on time, sacrificed our time to rush to the practice place.

i think punctuality is one form of enthusiasm, or more specifically, respect. aside from that matter, there are lots of ways for people to show respect. question would be, do you want to show the respect or not?

one day i slept late, and the next day i got a class. when i got to my campus i went for a sleep in the cozy student lounge. who knows, i overslept on the couch for 15 minutes or so, and it made me late for the class.

the lecturer is one of my favourite, and truth to be told, i hate to disappoint him. even though i always said that he’s delusional, that doesn’t change that i respect him and i wanted to be a good student in his class.

sadly, my late-morning sleeping made me have to struggle to stay awake for his (actually interesting) lecture. unconsciously why stretching my neck, i was asleep. at the end of the class, my friend told me that the lecturer saw that i wasn’t awake, yet he didn’t scold me, he just scoffed at me.

i feel bad, actually. i didn’t meant to sleep at his lecture…they’re too interesting to miss. tomorrow is his class again, and even though it’s a holiday in the calendar, i still have to go to campus. i still dislike the idea of waking up early at holidays…. but it’s his class afterall. the ‘perfect liar’ class!!! yeah baby!!!

yak memasuki minggu kedua kuliah…. gw bisa bilang minggu pertama berakhir dengan cukup baik. kadang2 masih have no idea what the heck the lecturers are talking about… tapi all in all, i quite grasp the general idea what they’re talking about.

sebenernya lecture yang berhubungan dengan komunikasi tuh menurut gw menarik banget. giving me another perception in writing, language, and journalism, yang basically gw suka. well, kalo gak suka gw rasa gw gak bakal blogging lah ya. hahahahaha

tapi tadi pas kuliah, the lecturer starts to shows her fangs. gw tadi kuliah interactive media communication yang ternyata malah ngomongin soal media (komputer) yang digunakan untuk berkomunikasi. gw berurusan dengan software2 macem adobe photoshop dan ilustrator, yang pas SMA gw pilih untuk minta tolong ko Aron ato Dicky untuk ngerjain secara gw gak bisa… dan gak tertarik untuk bisa karena gw gak punya jiwa nyeni.

tapi entah gimana tadi pas di lecture, keluar istilah2 yang muncul dari antah berantah such as syntax, semantics, dan binary. gw mulai mo jerit. it was bad enough kuliah ini mengandung software2 yg gw have no idea of using…. sekarang muncul lagi istilah2 gak jelas yang -untungnya- bukan gw doang yg gak tau!

the craziest part of the lecture was binary. itu bener2 pembantaian dan pembodohan secara masal!!!! prinsipnya sih, segala sesuatu yang digitalized alias terletak di dunia digital itu terdiri dari angka 1 dan 0. masalahnya, kita hidup di dunia decimal yang berisi angka2 0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,dan 9. terus gimana dong? ya kudu di konversi!

nah, menurut lecturer gw si Tara Gadre, kudunya ini udah diajarin pas kls 7 (1 SMP). tapi alamakjandungdung, ni org kynya gak tau bedanya kurikulum skola di indo dan di aussie deh. dodol deh tu orang, secara kita sekelas gak tau makanan apakah itu binary conversion, kita semua cm mlongo doang waktu dia mulai tanya2 soal ini.

si Tara mulai jelasin semua konsep binary itu dengan penuh emosi dan mulai jerit2 sedikit histeris, sayang kita semua tetep gak ngerti dan lagi2 kita tetep melongo. akhirnya dia mo ngasih hand out soal konsep binary ini minggu dpn…. but i dunno deh.

gw udah panik aja, gw langsung kontak ko Aron yg mantan anak IT (dia pasti ngerti lah gini2an…) eh pas mo minta ajarin ternyata dia lagi mo miting. duh, maap deh ko, diriku ini tidak tau menau…. jadi gak enak.

anyway, setelah first half of the class selesai, gw mulai merasa sangat bodoh. untung gak sendirian, yg lain tnyata jg sama ngga ngertinya… it’s a good thing deh, nyasar bareng2. tapi si Valiant, salah satu temen sekelas gw, meyakinkan gw bahwa itu emang gurunya aja kagak bisa ngajar. hohohohoho, gw harus bilang gw setuju sama lo Val!

sampe rumah, pas chat sama ka G, gw mulai cerita betapa malangnya nasib gw yang tidak mengerti sistem binary itu. kenapa gw cerita ke doi??? secara eh secara, gw inget ka G pernah ngebahas ini dulu pas abis ntn kungfu panda….

gw : eh, tapi gila ya kak, keren banget grafiknya…. luar biasa banget teknologi jaman sekarang…
ka Lita : iya, yg bisa dilakukan software2 jaman sekarang…
ka G : kalo mo sedikit hiperbola, itu adalah hasil karya angka 0 dan 1…. karena sebenernya dunia digital dalam arti software komputer beserta aplikasi2nya itu dibuat dengan angka 0 sebagai nilai salah dan 1 sebagai nilai bener….
gw : (cengo) ……. oooo…….. (tetep gak ngerti)

anyway, kak G ternyata ngerti konsepnya! hihihihi thx God gw dateng ke orang yang bener! dan udah gitu doi ngasih gw situs buat ‘bermain2′ dengan angka 0 dan 1 yg kurang ajar itu. untungnya di situs itu jg dijelasin gimana caranya bisa mengkonversi seperti itu. untung deh, bener2 lebih mudah dimengerti drpd si Tara ngomong panjang lebar tinggi pendek 3 jem.

sambil gw berusaha belajar dari site itu, ka G bilang sama gw, "math is fun right?" dan gw langsung mikir itu overrated banget. gila, ngitung2 gak jelas dan gak penting gini dibilang fun??? halah. gw cm jawab doable aja deh. pokoknya math itu weird. kok bisa 9 jadi 1…. malah 1+1 = 10 kl gt. halahhhh…. matematika sapa sih tu?! but all in all… thank you ka G!!!!! you are a lifesaver!!!

gw sempet separo berharap di medcom ini gw gak ketemu sama yang namanya matematika…. tp td ky yg dibilang joseph, math is just everywhere and u need this to pass. oh whatever. i’m just passing through tho (i hope so…)

kemaren ini Heri ngasih satu pernyataan yg lagi2 membuat gw berpikir. cuma gara2 gw gak beliin dia kue (ya iyalahhh!!!! mo ngapain coba?) "ya gw tau, lo kan cm baik ama cowo aja…"

waktu itu sih gw langsung jawab "ya iya lahhhhh, gw masih suka cowo gitu loh!" tapi gw rasa itu cm alesan minornya. dan kata2 Heri nyaris menyentuh kebenaran, karena sebenernya gw emang cenderung lebih gampang deket sama cowo dan otomatis bikin gw lebih gampang baik sama cowo.

gw cape betemen sama cewe. trauma juga lagian. kayaknya banyak kasus rahasia gw BOCOR abis2an di tangan cewe2 tukang gosip itu. udah gitu, cewe juga sering nusuk dari belakang (well, cewe punya kecenderungan lebih besar untuk ngelakuin ini dibanding cowo kecuali cowonya bitchy) dan juga sering nyebelin sampe minta ditabok.

belom lagi kalo akhirnya naksir cowo yang sama. halah, ini sih basi abis. temen, curhat2an soal cowok, lho kok cowok taksiran temennya diembat?! asli sih, ini sucks banget. berasa dikhianatin, diboongin, diinjak2 persahabatannya.

cowok, on the other hand, jauh lebih cuek. dan i thank God for that…. kalo cowo sama nyinyirnya sama cewe gw rasa mending gw gak punya temen ah. mereka gak suka sniffing their nose on a bussiness that’s not their own. tapi kalo gw sampe cerita, mereka (cukup) care dengan masalah gw dan mau dengerin (well, most of my male friends are good listener. i pick the right one lah!)

mereka jg ngga bakal ngegosip. jijay banget tu kl sampe cowo2 itu ngegosip. yucks. yucks yucks. jadi rahasia gw relatively aman di cowo, kecuali cowo2 yang embernya setengah mampus kayak mulutnya gak bisa ditutup dan harus selalu nganga dan ngumbar rahasia orang kayak barang dagangan, which is, thank God, cukup jarang.

apalagi soal naksir cowo. kecuali temen gw gay, gak mungkin dong dia naksir cowo yg sama?! mrk lebih demen ngeliatin cewe2 di mall kalo lagi nongkrong bareng, dan gw tentu saja cari cowo2 cakep untuk dipandangin. kita bisa kompak, kalo liat org pacaran cakep2. "lo cewenya, gw cowonya yah. mari kita pisahkan mereka!!" ya gak mungkin dilaksanain sih, tapi paling ngga kita kompak.

all in all, gw cape dikhianatin temen2 cewe gw dan temen2 cowo yg bitchy. makanya, sekarang gw cari temen yang cowok tulen. aman, terkendali, menguntungkan. yuuuukk….

yeeeyyy, gw sudah kuliah!!! ada perasaan seneng2 puas gimana gitu waktu gw sadar gw udah masuk ke dunia perkuliahan. biar kata gw masuk pagi semua (jam 8-12) dari senen sampe kamis…. at least, jumatnya gw libur. hehehehe

masalah transportasi adalah salah satu yang bikin gw cukup heboh pada awalnya. bagaimanakah gw harus ke tempat nunjauh disana pagi2 gitu?! untung bonyok gw bae, God bless their soul, mereka masih mau bangun pagi2 untuk nganterin gw sampe sana karena gak tega gw jejel2an di bus (yg gw jg gak tau dari mana kemana) pagi2 dan bisa mengakibatkan gw brkt jam 6 pagi.

u can call me a spoilt child tapi gw bener2 menghindari yang namanya bus diantara kendaraan2 umum yang laen. gak masalah kalo gw harus naek kwk (angkot langganan gw kalo pulang dari skola) tapi bisa jadi masalah kalo gw hrs naek bus. tapi apa mau dikata, that might be the only way home….

untung jg sih ada si Savrina, kalo ada dia gw bisa pulang bareng sampe depan mol, dari situ tinggal naek shuttle bus. but then again, dia kan gak selalu  available… dan mungkin gw jg gak selalu langsung pulang *wink*

anyhow, akhirnya tadi gw hrs pulang naek bus+busway soalnya si Sav mo cabut sama nyokapnya. setelah nanya2 ama satpam MIBT yg baek hati dan untungnya gak menyesatkan, gw ternyata bisa naek p6 dari dpn MIBT sampe ke plangi. dari situ gw tinggal jalan dikit ke halte Benhil trus naek busway ampe pulomas trus jalan lagi sampe rumah.

salah satu yang cukup menghibur gw adalah cerita dari Cece dan Heri yg merupakan pelanggan busway jurusan kota-blok M : banyak cogan! sayangnya hal ini cuma berlaku untuk jam pulang kantor. kalo jam brkt kantor yg banyak tuh cogan2 yg masih wangi2=P dan diantara waktu2 itu…. yah, cuma ada cogan. bukan banyak. paling ngga ada yg bisa diliat deh. better than nothing…

satu hal yang lumayan seru juga pas naik busway gitu adalah kita bisa memperhatikan tingkah2 para penghuni di dalamnya yang biasanya cukup aneh2…. contohnya tadi yang gw liat.

tadi pas gw lagi transit di harmoni, gw ngeliat ada satu cowo gendut gitu yang naek ke arah pulogadung bareng gw. gw baru bener2 notice ni orang waktu dia duduk di dpn gw pas di daerah senen gt. orgnya agak clumsy, trus dia tdnya bdiri gt, pas duduk tampangnya kayak org darah rendah - pucet2 lega gitu karena akhirnya bisa duduk. pas gw perhatiin lebih lama, ini cowo jadi sering nunduk gitu sambil merem2…. terus nyengir2 sendiri. erm…. mungkin dia abis ngapelin cewenya kali.

lama2 gw liatin ni cowo kok tingkahnya makin aneh…. dia komat kamit gitu… trus tiba2 berhenti, sambil gedek2 tp nyengir2 gt. bbrp kali dia begitu. akhirnya gw, yg bener2 ga ada kerjaan, mulai memikirkan beberapa kesimpulan apa yg akan dilakukan org ini :
- dia mirip org yg mo ujian… well, at least, gw kalo mo ujian tampang  gw jg ky gitu, cm bedanya gw gak nyengir2. tapi masa sih dia ujian??? tampangnya sekitar 26an gitu deh, gak mungkin dong dia lg ngapalin bahan ujian…
- mungkin dia mo presentasi. berusaha ngapalin kata2 yg mau diucapkan tapi ada bbrp yg dia mungkin lupa ato salah
- mungkin jg dia mo nembak cewe. lagi berusaha mencari kata2 tepat yg bisa meluluhkan hati tu cewe
- mungkin dia mo ketemu klien (DD banget ya… hahahahaha)

sampe akhirnya gw turun di pulomas, itu orang tetep aja gedek2 sambil nyengir2 gimana gitu. dan gw pun membuat satu dugaan terakhir yg gw pikir paling mendekati kebenaran : tu orang kayaknya gila. hahahahahahaha…..